Most Certainly Not

MY FASHION PHILOSOPHY Although others

MY FASHION PHILOSOPHY Although others in my life would like to accept credit for this philosophy, I've had it as a personal one for so long that I know it originated with me.

I'm on a mission to educate all those who choose to wear clothes that just because something comes in your size doesn't mean you should be wearing it . It's true! Just because a midriff top comes in a double digit size, doesn't mean it will look good on you.

This has become an even more prominent problem for younger girls, I've noticed, as even normal sized girls are faced with a pencil-thin "juniors" section in which only someone shaped like a 12-year-old boy could truly benefit. Forced to squeeze themselves into smaller and smaller offerings in their size (lest they bump themselves up to what actually fits!), many young women walk around looking like sausages.

This is not to say that I have a problem with those of average, normal weight and height. The media may have you believe a size 0 is "normal", but we all know a size 12 is average. What my philosophy encourages is finding the right style for you no matter what size you are. Frankly, even some teeny tiny people don't necessarily look great with their belly button rings showing.

There are plenty of choices out there, people, and I'm a testament to that. No matter what size I've been, I've gone to great lengths to find something that looks like it belongs on my body. Go forth, do the same, and the philosophy may become the way of the future.

I DRIVE AN INVISIBLE CAR

I DRIVE AN INVISIBLE CAR

I've seen so much publicity about the dangers of the dasterdly SUV's lately that it's laughable. I wonder, though, how much clout I'd have with environmentalists if they knew about my invisible car? In my opinion, it's better than those hybrid cars because apparently, it can't even be detected with the human eye. I can only assume the emissions are below the radar as well.

I actually drive an Infiniti I-30 circa 1998. It is a great car, but despite the fact that it is dark green, it is just one of those things that becomes lost on other drivers on the road. Today on the way to and from my daughter's school, I was involved in no less than a half dozen "near misses" where drivers simply pulled out in front of me, cut me off, drifted into my lane, and even stopped directly in front of me in the middle of a moving line of traffic.

I can think of no other reason but that my automobile is like Wonder Woman's jet to be experiencing this type of treatment on the roadways. It couldn't be that other drivers are simply so self-absorbed, oblivious, and ridiculous that their driving habits call other motorists' well-being into question...or could it?

Do you think the guy who was supposed to be driving, but was so engrossed in his cell phone conversation that he literally slowed to a complete STOP in front of me on the street today just didn't care?

Did the woman who listlessly drifted into my lane of traffic without the benefit of so much as a turn signal nearly brush my front end just because she didn't care?

I simply must point out to such drivers that I am on the road, I am paying attention and I will take it very personally should harm come to my car during the hapless operation of their automobiles. Furthermore, the idea that some harm should come to either or both of my daughters should snap those drivers to attention in a hurry...if only they knew me...I truly would be willing to slap some sense into them should they ever actually make contact with my car. It would be my civic duty, I'm sure.

Now, should that happen and someone say, "Hey! Where did you come from! I didn't see you...where is your car anyhow!?" And, if I turn and see my daughters strapped in their car seats, appearing to dangle in thin air (think Wonder Woman, people), I will respectfully drop the hand that I planned to use to soundly slap them and take it in stride. After all, it would only be fair.

"Hi. My name is Melinda

"Hi. My name is Melinda and I'm a Fret-a-Holic."

I mentioned in my introductory post that I decided to do a blog after enjoying so many of my friends'. Did I also mention I've been thinking about this for literally months? The reason I didn't begin blogging sooner?

I couldn't think of a decent name for my site.

Pathetic, I know, but when you know bloggers the likes of My Friend Melissa, well, you tend to take your time in matters. Who am I kidding!? I'd have pondered a name for weeks anyhow and even after all that, I'm still not satisfied. I'm sure by tomorrow I'll have the perfect name and it will have nothing to do with the one I've selected and committed to today.

sigh...

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5 Why "most

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5

Why "most certainly not"? Because this is the ONE phrase my mother used on my sister and I over and over again in childhood. It is also the phrase I swore I would not use on my children. I'm officially now a mother of two and I have used it not only on them but also their fathers. Nope...the "s" is not a typo. I'm a 31-year-old who has been married more than once. Not a phenomenon by today's standards but a shocker to me, nonetheless! My ex-husband, Bill, is a terrific dad to our nearly 5-year-old daughter. My current husband, Brian, is an equally terrific dad and husband to my 5-year-old and our nearly two-month-old daughter.

I'm currently on leave from my job to take care of my new daughter and many moms I know have their own "blogspot" so I thought I'd give it a whirl too.

So, please enjoy.