I am pretty positive that this week has been an adrenaline rollercoaster of sorts. Although I have not felt stressed or anxious, I have noticed a few things that make me think my body is having some issues my brain may be ignorning.
First, I've been waking up during the night at least four times. I go back to sleep, but come on! What is up with waking up for no reason? Second, I've felt like I'm cemented in place--the idea of moving out of bed, taking a shower and doing anything other than rolling over and sleeping another four hours makes me frown. Like right now...my body feels like it's only 10 or 11 a.m., but it's 1:30 p.m. I just feel OFF. Third, my one solace--running--has not happened in a few days. Fourth, I've had trouble processing easy mental tasks (like how to work a copy machine to make it do what I want) or Scentsy business tasks (which I love).
So. What is UP, buttercup!? I'm thinking some changes are in order to restart/kickstart my return to life and this new year.
I know that exercise and diet make a huge difference in how I feel, whether I am under high levels of stress or not. I also realize that I've been living under such stressful daily conditions for so long that my current level of crazed (fears about my job; fears about my husband's job; worrying about paying for the kids' activities; worrying about the next six months until the youngest's placement is finalized) would be enough to put most in a fetal position, but I'm just blase. I'm beginning to think I'm blase on the outside and appear blase on the inside (no upset stomach, no anxiety attacks, etc), but really it's eating at me and my nerves are shot.
I have two vouchers to cash in for discounted exercise classes that I've purchased over the past couple months. Both are for Bootcamp-like classes at different establishments. I think it will be good for me (and humiliating for me, but ultimately rewarding). I'm competitive by nature which is why I love solo running--I only compete with myself. Being in a ring full of people doing different exercises will kill me, but encourage me...I think.
I also want to challenge myself to sign up for and complete some runs this year. It will need to be 5ks to start, but I'd like to start pushing toward a 10k. Truth be told, I really want one of those 13.1 stickers on the back window of my car--I told you I'm competitive.
Exercise usually acts as a linchpin for me. I tend to eat better and make better choices when I'm exercising. However, exercise also provides me a buffer so if I do fall off track food-wise, it isn't as noticeable immediately. Flipping that equation around or at least equalizing it (food and exercise as a balanced teeter totter) could benefit not only me, but my family as a whole. When I have more energy, I am more able to plan ahead, make it to the store, and actually want to cook when I am home.
So, to that end, I've been thinking for awhile about how best to wean my household off the more processed foods (I have made some movement, but not nearly enough) and onto things that will benefit them in the longer run. I am not going to zealously prevent my candy loving daughter, M2, from enjoying a bag of M&M's once in awhile, but I will encourage her to try more foods than she currently has on her list. During that child's pregnancy, all I could stomach was greasy, saucy, junky food and drink. It appears her desire for such things lasted past her time inutereo.
I think I can garner my husband's buy-in (although his abhorrence of most vegetables makes me want to sock him) given that this is very cavemanesque in theory and he's kind of a caveman appreciative dude.
M1 will definitely be on board because she has always been my "Could I have a salad with that rather than fries and water instead of the fruit punch?" kind of kid.
M2 will fight me every step of the way, kicking and screaming. So. I'm not going to tell her. I'm just going to make her "approved" food list less processed in nature and work some other things in as I go.
Given the financial crunch that comes with the possibility that my husband will be on short-term disability again for 26 weeks ($250/week, anyone?), I will need to be creative and likely shop at different places and maybe even order staples on line. But. That's okay. It will recharge my slovenly brain cells, if nothing else.
I think the very first recipe I'm going to try will be this one for Skillet Sweet Potato, Sausage & Spinach Hash that I found on a really beautiful blog dedicated to cleaner eating. M2 will likely only go for the side of fresh raspberries, but we'll work with her.
40 is staring me in the face and I have 13 days before it comes to pass. I'd like to be well on the way to implementing more positive changes before it does.