Most Certainly Not: February Is Over Already?

Wow. That went fast.

What a crazy final day of the month, but in a good way! Lots of Scentsy going on and that's what I like to see. Hey. Let's face it. If I have an addiction to something, I want to share it with everyone I know.

I've started running again. Not in the--Wow. I hope I can run more than once in the next couple weeks--kind of way, but in the "I went Saturday when it was nice out and I went today when it was not." Every other day from now until the wheels fall off, so sayeth Guard Wife. It makes a huge difference to my mood and my waistline. And, truth be told, it helps keep things moving along and I don't feel so sluggish or hefty as I lumber through my day. Sure, I have trouble dragging myself up and down the stairs at the law school, but that will become less obvious with time, if I remember correctly.

March will be a month of rededication to the older girls. M1 has done great keeping her obligations in check. From school work to practices, she is doing so well. M2? She had been holding her own, but left a couple low grades on the kitchen table for me to find after she went to bed tonight. Yikes. We need to make sure she is sitting down and doing her homework at the table first thing rather than whatever it is she actually does. We also need to crack down and make her buckle down and quit rushing through things just to be done. If we don't take our time, we'll have plenty of time to do extra. We can certainly write our spelling words five times a night to avoid a disappointing score. She had about 4 weeks where she'd earned a 100% plus a bonus point for a bonus word on her spelling tests. This past week? She netted a grade exponentially lower and a frownie face from her teacher on her paper.

I feel like I've failed her in so many ways. But, there is still time. This has been a huge wake-up call. I'm sorry, but I won't be spending over an hour to help someone else figure out that "cupcake" does not rhyme with "cat". Seriously. That does not even remotely make sense. M2 and I will sit at the table and do her homework and bring our grade up pronto.

This week's M3 therapy appointment should be interesting given that they did brain biofeedback at her last appointment (that I had to miss because I was at a conference) and my husband said it was painfully obvious, even to him, that things are not right and it's "loud" in there. My gut tells me medication will be in the offing. Normally, I would balk and do research and whatever else. At this stage of the game, I'm going to ask for my own free sample. No doubt it's something that could help her. She just has so many monumental issues that will become insurmountable if we cannot find a way in there. Truthfully, our therapist is after us to set a deadline for ourselves and criteria to measure ourselves at that deadline. I'm thinking by summer we should know which way this is headed. If it all goes as fast as February did, that will be here before we know it.

I have my annual exam with my OB/GYN next week. I usually love going to see him. This year? Not so much. I don't want to have to tell yet another person about our current situation. Especially someone who was so proud of our decision and who had encouraged us in it and also honestly told me if I wanted to grow our family from scratch, I needed to do something before I turned 40. Sigh. Epic fail on all accounts and it will just make me, once again, confront my reality in a gut wrenching way. I've been doing great blithely wandering through my day with a smile, but there is something about a backless gown and stirrups that makes things a little harsh.

Tomorrow is a non-running day which is good because I have to pack a ton of activities into the morning so I can make it to my hair appointment (I have not had anything done to my hair since AUGUST, people!) and then deliver Girl Scout cookies to some of my Brownies' houses. At least it's midterm break at law school and I have all week to finish my paperwork for next week.

Things making me happy today:

1. Zoya nail color in Casey.

2. Eminem's new song, "Not Afraid", on my iPod in my running playlist. That, coupled with "Lose Yourself", kept me on around a 12-minute mile pace which is about 3 minutes under where I normally find myself. I ran over 2 miles today thanks to Marshall Mathers. No, I don't care for his potty mouth and I have not liked all his music. But, those two songs speak to me at this stage in my life. And, granted, he's getting over drugs and alcohol and I'm just trying to put down the Little Debbies, but both of them are killers. I open my run with "Lose Yourself" and it is amazingly inspiring to get your feet down the pavement.

3. Working with my two part-time "employees" tonight whose excitement over helping Mom with Scentsy sorting and packing was infectious. So fun to see them work together, try to be efficient, work out jobs for themselves and be complimentary of each other's strengths.