And not in a "wild and crazy weekend" kind of way.
It's Friday. Another week down the tubes. I launched into this week feeling pretty great. I had spent some quality time with my people and had come home to not one, but TWO interviews. The remainder of the week has seen me fighting an eternal desire to nap and sending resumes to every possible recipient. Think it's too much to send them in Christmas cards this year?
Who am I kidding? There will be no Christmas cards this year. Stamps need to be conserved.
Now that the week has wound down, I realize I cannot think too much about this. If an offer comes from the firm hiring an $11/hour law clerk, I will take the job and be grateful for it. I will not be caught in a trap that screams, "Holy cripes! I'm a licensed attorney and I'm earning $11/hour as a law clerk...a job I should have had, but couldn't get while in school." That should have been a clue back then, but apparently my clue receptacle has a crack in it.
It's not as if I have a wide open playing field on which to run. I cannot stray too far off the beaten path looking for work because in a few, short months, I'm alone. I can't be 45 minutes to an hour away (which is what working in the next major city would require) because I will need to drop the kids at school and pick them up before 5:45. Aside from government work (which I cannot even bag an interview for), I don't know many attorneys who cash it in by 5:00. Throw in a commute on a major interstate and I'd be out-of-luck where the kids are concerned.
Looking for work in an entirely different field + impending deployment = recipe for disaster
Most of the ads I see are for attorneys making a lateral move--after 2-5 years at a firm doing what this new firm is seeking. Even six months (or six days, for that matter) experience is out of my league, so good luck. And, if I can't get hired, how will I ever get the experience to apply for those jobs.
I would just give up and do something else, but McDonald's and Target haven't called either.
If one more person tells me to wait until after the first of the year because things will be better, I will scream. I think next month contains enough reason to need money and fast. I was counting on the UPS overtime to rebuild our savings before Hubs deploys. As it stands now, we'll be lucky if it keeps us afloat.
All of that accompanied by the fact that any day the adoption agency is going to call and be ready to roll, and you have a big ball of crazy.
I take solace in the fact that there is likely a special wing in hell for those who smiled and led me by the hand into this den of disappointment and rejection.
I also take solace in the fact that if something doesn't come along soon, you can bet your ASS I will be calling every radio reporter, newspaper and magazine reporter who interviewed me before I started law school (and then proceeded to plaster my face and that of the children all over the newspapers from coast to coast) to see if they would like to do an update...I imagined me behind the counter of McDonald's, but as it stands, I can't even get THEM to hire me so just maybe me in my living room surrounded by the rejection letters? Nice!